March 30, 2013
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The Dogs’ Report
We are petitioning to send Cheryl back to work.
We don’t know what ‘work’ is.
Nancy goes there. She’s gone all day and we never have to worry about her racing out into the back yard with a spray bottle in her hand, yelling intelligible human-speak while dousing us with water. It doesn’t hurt or anything, but still. We look stupid. Imagine if you have barked to your neighbor dog, I own this fence, I am ruler of this yard and you are not welcome here! all alpha and fierce-like, and then your old, fat owner comes charging out of the house and chases you across the lawn with a spray bottle. You get all wet and you look stupid in front of your enemy.
Hahaha, laughs your enemy, your owner did that to you!
We are losing the backyard wars and it’s all because of Cheryl.
She says stupid human things to us. We don’t understand them all, but this is one she says often. She says:
“Stella lives in her back yard
just like you live in yours.”
Crazy talk.
We have the whole back yard to defend.
Cheryl needs to stay in the house and keep her spray bottle to herself.
